So In Love I Stayed (again)

I wasn't supposed to stay Monday.  I intended to take my time, but not all my time on Monday.  BUT there were more rocks to climb. I hired a guide to take me out so I didn't have to boulder by myself again. That definitely freaked me out a bit.  So, I hired Colorado Climbing Company to take me on a whirlwind adventure!  Jeremiah was my guide and he was VERY PROFESSIONAL : ). He gave me a couple options to go with.  I had said I wanted to try something classic and indicative of the area.  Thusly:

We headed out to the Maiden.  The picture above shows it right in the middle.  It kind of looks like....ummmmm...well...a Maiden?

It is in the middle of the FLATIRONS outside of Boulder, Co and is an east coast exhausting hour hike to get to.  Again, Altitude...you jerk.  You embarrassed me in front of Jeremiah. I was really trying hard to look like a real live rock climber and I had to stop around 5 times to catch my breath just to get to the flipping rock!

This was the view from the base of the Maiden.  We're already pretty high up in the air.  What little air there was here...  So, I'm huffing and puffing and there are no houses to blow down.  We get all geared up and...

...where did my guide go?!  : ) He scaled this (I think 5 pitch) rock like, well, a rockstar.  Jeremiah was awesome! Thank goodness because when he picked me up from my hotel room, I had started to get nervous.  Right before he came, a guy with a pretty nice gregory pack was walking like he had springs in his butt around the lobby.  He had crazy eyes and dirty hippy hair and reminded me of the socially awkward computer nerd from high school that seemed overly excited just to see human beings.  I was hovering in the corner of the lobby closing my eyes and chanting "please no, please no, please no...don't look at me....no eye contact....that's not my guide." (which is very similar to what I do in bars sometimes as well) Then my knight in shining armor pulled up with real climbing experience and real funny jokes and amazing skill at driving in "traffic." SAVED! Knight in shining armor! (Sidenote: there is no such thing as traffic in Colorado.  These people have no idea what that even means)

So once my guide go himself up the first pitch it was my turn.  It was weird because I'm used to climbing with only a handful of people. This wasn't Ryan, or Ben, or Jim...this was some dude.  He's funny, he knows what he's doing...but this isn't one of my partners in crime. After 5 pitches he was...

Anyways, I was a little nervous to climb here because it was tall and I'm afraid of heights, and right at the beginning I felt like I forgot everything I knew about climbing. Oh well, ONWARD UPWARD!

One pitch left, and let me explain the pigtails.  Here it is: I hate helmets.

We were at the top of the Maiden...on the TIP if you will. It was a pretty fun climb.  Not incredibly difficult except the 5.10 section, which was a short pitch, but made for tall people. (yes I'm playing the short card again).

We're at the top, I'm barely breathing.  I'm not sure if it's because of the spectacular views, the height, the climb, the altitude...

I was resting on top of the world.  Jeremiah tried to take care of the business while we were resting.  He was working on top of the world.  It cracked me up, he was trying to describe some climbs to a lady and they wanted to firm up plans.  He told her: "I'm out of the office right now, can I call you back in a few hours?"

That woman probably thought he was screwing around and doing his laundry, maybe some errands.  He just climbed a MOUNTAIN!  He's WAY OUT of the office.  I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen, but I couldn't stop giggling about it.

But the adventure wasn't done:

That's me right there in the middle of nothing rappelling off the back of THE MAIDEN.  Yes it freaked me out, but it was also AMAZING! I was suspended in nothing but clouds and sweet zephyrs. Bottom to Top and down again.  It was nothing but the best of fun, and so worth the extra day I spent in Boulder.

(PS the sunburn! OH THE SUNBURN!)

Altitude, what a buzz kill...or is it?

So beer is kind of a big deal for me.  It's been in my life for quite some time now.  We're in a complicated relationship, but whenever we hang out it usually ends in fun and games and giggling. What more could you want from a friend?  Colorado happens to be beers favorite state as well.  TONS of microbreweries. TONS. I have to go back simply to partake in more of this aspect of Colorado.

So I knew ahead of time about beer in Colorado.  I also knew about awesome hiking in Colorado.  I ALSO knew about the altitude in Colorado.  I NEVER PUT IT ALL TOGETHER!  And I'm a math teacher for goodness sake!  ADD WOMAN ADD!

BEER

(YUMMMM)

+ HIKING/CLIMBING

(WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

+HAULING MY CRAP

(UGH)

IN HIGH ALTITUDE=

(**GASP GASP**)

A 2 BEER QUEER!

(No offenses intended...it simply rhymes well!)

I thought I was in shape when I went out on this trip.  I really felt top form.  Turns out, I was in good EAST COAST shape. Nice low altitude with tons of oxygen.  But, in reality the West Coast/Western states kick our East coast butts any day of the week on top of a mountain or at Mile High Stadium.  I didn't think it would make that big of a difference, but it beats you down and humbles you and makes you look like a jerk in front of everyone.  But the bonus is: it's much cheaper to get drunk.  I found this out when I went to a microbrewery in Boulder, CO. I was literally halfway through my second beer and went to the bathroom all woozy and giggly.  I thought something was wrong with me! This Irish girl doesn't mess around when it comes to drinking. There's NO WAY this is happening to me!

Someone even told me (a guy with pretty solid stature and body mass), the first time he came up to the area, he went to a bar up in the mountains and had a beer and a shot and was black out drunk the rest of the night. Ok, Ok, this makes me feel WAY better.  I'm not the only one who can't handle their alcohol at altitude. Of course, he also said, when he'd go back home to his low altitude state, he could out drink everyone no problem because his body was used to altitude drinking.  Ahem, anyone want to test this when I get back?

Colorado!

I left you with the sun going down and bein tortured further across Kansas. Just to prove that I had entered new territory, as soon as I crossed state lines a coyote ran right in front of my car! Bam! You're not in Kansas anymore! Anything can happen here!

Oh coyote, what a bit of foreshadowing you brought!

Did I mention my favorite thing about driving across the country? Time travel. Obviously! I stared at my phone for almost an hour straight so I could watch the time go back from 11 to 10. I was disappointed, but given something better! I traveled forward to the next day and then BACK AGAIN!!! What?! My students are right! I am magic! (My wrinkle in time did not render any winning lotto numbers sadly)

I drove into Denver so glad to see civilization! I will admit, that while it was dark, I did notice that eastern Colorado is pretty flat, but still more interesting than Kansas.

I was shocked by how big Denver was, and then found out that thy are cheaters and there are a bunch of towns squished together. All of them amazing. Denver is especially amazing because they have my husband, Peyton manning. I did ask Siri where he was. Turns out that piece of technology is a piece of crap...

However, Magnolia Hotel is NOT a piece of crap. As soon as I got there, the valet took my bike down and stored it for me. I will admit, I held back a few punches and screams and other east coast inspired habits. Then they took my car. Then I almost cried. My life, my Hobbes, my world! I figured that my parents wouldn't bail me out all the way out in Colorado, so I did nothing but perhaps sulk a little bit. My hand might have reached out for the little red rio as it drive away without me. (Thinking about castaway? "Wiiilllllssssoooooonnnnn!"....yeah me too)

Perhaps they could tell I was distraught. The weight of my car keys gone, naked but for one measley bag containing clothes (important?! Not nearly as important as my climbing equipment that mutinied along with Hobbes!)

They offered me milk and cookies. In fact they give you milk and cookies as a bedtime snack around 9:00 every evening! I asked the obvious question as they patted my back and pushe the elevator button for me, practically tucking me into bed (that story in a second!)

"Is Santa comin to the lobby after the milk and cookies?!"

The doorman laughed. "He played along, yeah he'll be down and you can sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas."

This kid doesn't know about my history with Santa...he doesn't know I will be sneaking down in The middle of the night to check...

So I go to my room all snug and cozy and milk and cookied! It's beautiful at this hotel, I was exhausted and ready to curl up. I get all tucked in to those blankets that are typical of a plush hotel. The ones that all at once give you the weightlessness of a cloud and press against you in a tight hug. Aaaahhhhh about to go to sleep. My door opens, the light goes on, I'm about to be attacked! My battle cry: "uh...hellllloooo?!"

The battle cry strikes fear into the heart of the cleaning guy and he gives his thousand apologies to me and my honorable family and scurries away! Muahahahaha!

Were they really going to try to tuck me in after my milk and cookies? I think to myself. Then a phone call, the desk clerk apologizes and apologizes and I'm about to give him the "no worries dude!" When he says something that stops me in my tracks...

"I'll be taking 50 dollars off of your charges while here Ms. Ellis."

Shoot I have to act stern and upset now, but also like this guy has assuaged my anxiety. I want to giggle instead, because I'm mature like that. 

That guy almost saw me starkies!

Good night Denver! What a welcome! 

................................................................

Next morning starts and I'm out the door. I want to find a place to boulder, so obviously I head to a bookstore to read up. I'm walking downtown for about ten minutes and immediately text about ten people that I'm never leaving. Denver is awesome. It's the biggest metropolis in Colorado and its the cleanest air I've breathed in in 3 days and 7 states. I don't see a single car until about 6 bikes have passed me. It's the quietest city I've ever experienced. I felt like I had to whisper when I talked! In the first hour, I don't see a single person who doesn't have a tattoo, bike, or dog. I'm home!!!

What's more, this is in the city. It's riverfront park. There are people sun bathing, biking, swimming in the water and skateboarding! My people! They're all here! And they're all nice. Everyone who I stop to talk to asks how my morning is going. And then the clincher...they stop and look me in the eye and wait for my response. Like a real one. They really wanted to know about my day. And I found myself really wanting to know about their day. This kid (who is really a thirty year old dude but was tattooed up and wore a straight brimmed skater hat and a t shirt) sat down on a rock near me in the park. I saw he had a Long board which reminded me of my one friend who thinks long boards are lame and my other friend who actually loves long boards. Struck up a conversation. In ten minutes we talked about weed, the difference between skateboards and long boards, driving across the country, cops in Kansas vs. cops in Texas, and what development he lived in. Some of my friends won't share as willingly as this kid! And he's the norm!

He was originally from Minnesota...and he's not the only Minnesotan ice run into either. Those people just won't stay put! And no one is originally from Denver. Most people I talked to have transplanted here anywhere from four months ago to six years ago. I heard no one day they had lived here any longer than that. Love these people! LOVE THIS PLACE!

People here have a sense of humor. Just look at this sign in the local climb shop...

This sign should be a caution for cars instead of bikes. Cars are more rare.

People like this are not rare. He sang Beatles songs in the tourist strip. I don't know if he's homeless or not because everyone kind of dresses that way...

Mopeds are cool here. Seriously, they are. I didn't think it was possible either. And this combination of various lifestyle choices is very very normal here...

And hello the view is amazing everywhere you look!

Again why don't I live here?

Anyways, I went bouldering in Boulder. It makes me giggle when I say it. We all know my sense of humor, everything is worthy of a chuckle...

And bouldering was so convenient and the view was amazing and I was scared to death because I was alone and no one was there to tell me I was stupid! I had to tell myself! Therefore I only did some warmups and traverses. I wasn't worrie though because I hired a guide to take me out Monday, even though I wasn't really planning on staying all day Monday, but the rocks call and I obey!

Next up....altitude....