10 minKNIT

I got bored with my hair again. I am trying really really hard not to cut it all off. Hence, another hair tie project.

Also, my lovely sister, Kate tried to be as super cool as me, and learn how to knit. FAIL. The result was more yarn in the big yarn pile at my house. She does have good taste in yarn though. I had two skeins of this beautiful yarn that is the mix of my real favorite color and her real favorite color. Orange and Red, for those of you who must know. NOT GREEN, as we both once upon a time lied to ourselves about.

I'm trying to read Game of Thrones instead of all of this knitting though. It's a priority so some brothers, friends, and others will get off of my back and I can stop covering my ears every time they talk. And now they're all moving on to Hunger Games, which I have been told I am required to read by the time the movie comes out. My social life is exhausting, and my eyes are starting to burn and my sleeping pattern isn't a pattern anymore.

Anyway, I snuck in a little knitting in my planning period. Oh yes, I will sacrifice grading school papers for just about anything! 10 minutes. 80 stitches. 1/2 of a skein of wool blend(if that). 8 rows later...

Ooops, yeah. My big fat head was too big for the 80 stitches. Thus I attached the two ends with a bow to give me that extra inch of noggin space!

Obviously, I had to put in the buttons. Aren't buttons just cute as...well, buttons!?

In less time it takes to get in the car to get a headband and wait in line at the gross walmart...

Booyah.

Mitten with an "S"

Here we go. I really hope you understood the Clue in the title. Fasten your seat belts. I'm going to talk about how I don't like to talk about feelings.

I'm pretty sure that everyone and their mother know about my aversion to feelings, unless it's a feeling of triumph over evil AKA people who compete against me.

My students, in fact believe 2 awesome things about me:

1. I don't have tear ducts and therefore am incapable of crying

2. I am a vampire and that is why I never turn the lights on in my classroom.

I'm sure you agree about 2 things as well:

1. Wow, these kids are gullible.

2. I sound like an awesome villian.

Meanwhile, back at the cave:

Yesterday, I thought I was going to have to play the villian when the secretary called to say I needed to come to the office. Oh I put on my best "swag," as my kids call it. I stomped all the way down the three halls we have in this school making my best heel clicking, you're in trouble BAMF walk. Game face on, turn the corner....

....Shoot, they're flowers, not an angry parent.

Game face melted.

And then, if the fact that I felt a weird faint thumping, beating in my chest, I can only describe as awkward and this weird face contortion come over my super-villian face...I read this note:

Noooooo.....I don't smile at work! STOP!

And as I sit here and look at these flowers and reread this awesomely funny note, the mitten comes over me....the one that starts with S.

This leads me to do really dorky teacher things like the following:

Oh man. My villian facade is totally ruined.

And Bert got the flowers.

FAIL.

And that, my friends, is as close to feelings as ever I will describe.

******Sidenote: My just absolutely adorable, cheerful, gem of a homeroom thought I bought these flowers myself and had them sent to work for Valentine's Day. Wow, real nice.

It's Late...

Do you know why I just finished working at what is known as the butt crack 'o dawn?!

Because...it's hard to get things done in this way:

Rock On!

Since Christmas (and even more sadly, Christmas break) has passed, the highlight of the normalcy that is the day to day is that I get to finally blog on my latest super Christmas secret crafts.

As you may or may not know, I like to surprise my friend, Heather, with some...Mmmmm....unique gifts. She is ever so challenging to choose for if you are going to go the traditional "buy me something" route. Last year, I broke the camera she bought me and gave it back to her as my Christmas gift to her. One might call it "Up-Regifting" or "Up-cycling" at it's finest. I'm sure Heather has blogged about it on her photography site, or at least emailed me a picture. She just bought a new home, so that Christmas present better be getting a primo spot!

Anywho...it was that time of year again. She didn't really get me anything I could break and regift this year...(LAME!) So I had to go find scraps off the street, or pub floor, or at the music shop.

She rocks the coolest Fender earrings now. She is ever so stylish.

But, I am blessed with another friend Angela, whose favorite color is not really green, it's purple (I don't care what she says). But, as it was the Christmas season, I acquiesced to her obvious disillusionment and created a hair piece with GREEN in it. I actually made a second one two, but I didn't take a picture of it. This hairpiece is KINDA HUGE. I don't even know if she'll wear it, or even how well I made it...it was my first attempt (sorry Angela).

And then, of course there is the rule that you can't buy yourself anything during the month of December, which I totally abide by, but some people who shall remain nameless (but it rhymes with bike...or bichael) don't follow and make it really hard to buy things for them.

However, I have found a loophole...because I'm awesome.

There is no rule saying you can't test your craft first, and use the scraps to make yourself a super cool hair pin.

BOOYAH!

UGHHHHHHLY

About 1 and 1/2...maybe 2 years ago my Godson came to my house and saw all of my knitting stuff. It's on days like this that I wish I had cleaned my house that fateful day.

My Godson is super cool. He likes things because he likes them, not because they are cool or that he saw someone else enjoying the same thing. I LOVE that about people. I especially love that about my Godson because he puts so much energy and crazy faces into the cause of loving life.

He will sit with my sister and myself and drink tea with the "Mom's and Duck" even when all of the boys are toting nerf guns around and playing war. SO COOL.

Therefore when my nephew got all tangled in my knitting yarns and finished playing with all of the "jewels" (sparkly rocks and buttons) in my house and looked up at me with his big eyes and said, "Aunt Smax, will you make ME a blanket?" I said "OOOokkkkkayyyy, but you know it's going to take a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long looooooooooooooong time. (I really did sit there for about 5 minutes saying this)

"That's ok." he said, in his sweet little boy voice. I almost felt a feeling!

"What colors would you like in your blanket?"

"Army colors and RED!"

UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This blanket is SO ugly. Which is why 2 years later, I am still reluctantly working on it. I HATE this blanket. It's AWFUL.

I was hoping my Godson would forget about it. I was hoping I would forget about it, too.

NOPE.

2 years later..."AUNT SMAX, when are you going to finish that blanket?!"

Is this kid an ELEPHANT?!

Thankful

I get cranky when I don't produce something. Needless to say, I've been feeling cranky lately. It is difficult to feel guilty, though. I haven't been sitting around at all. I've just been so busy with things that aren't on my list I haven't really felt very in control of things.

I am thankful for the motivation to keep going when things get unbearable. That motivation derives from the people I love and who love me in return.

I am also thankful for a few days of peace. They have given me the time to get back into my routine and get the real stuff done.

Here are the results!

Remember When...

Once Upon a Time, long long ago I used to knit. There is dusty evidence of yarn wars past amongst the neglected and unfortunate shoes, socks, magazines, paintbrushes, pins and various other items in the forgotten house at playground drive. This was back when people were responsible and took care of themselves and their needs, rather than their wants.

That was a long long time ago. This was when I did my job and not 5 other people's jobs. It's a funny thing being pegged as responsible (ick, my inner child curdles at the very mention of such a characteristic!) these days it means..."HERE take mine too! You're so good at it!" For some reason people consider a responsible person something of a curbside drop off. Dump your stuff HERE! Soon the curbside is no longer a curbside with dandelion's and crickets basking in the sun, but more of a hot messy trash heap with too much going on, and not enough space.

That's how I feel this year. I keep looking at my blog thinking I should post something on it. I chastise myself for not being more productive. I had awesome goals before, a LIST full. I can't remember where it is. The only thing I can see right now is my third cup of coffee, a stack of papers to grade that is as thick as the family bible, and a bunch of emails I have to read begging me to do more.

All I really want to do is knit, read, and nap. If everyone could take their own responsibilities back and reread their job titles that would help me out a lot. I am certain it would clear up the pimples, relieve the knot in my shoulder blade, defog my brain and loosen up my facial expression.

CHEERS! BACK TO WORK!