You say goodbye and I say hello!

I woke in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, actually I didn't feel like that at all...

I felt like a plain old normal person who can tell the difference between toothpaste and jack Daniels...

If by chance you have no clue what I'm talking about:

http://youtu.be/iP6XpLQM2Cs

I do not condone this music, by the way. It's called an earworm. It's completely true! These songs are designed to get in your head. I can't be mad though, because the Beatles were the kings of earworms. 

So I woke up, and took down my bike from its perch atop Hobbes and to Petaluma I pedaled!

The reason? Well I wanted to see where I was for sure, but the big reason was the Tillmans are fancy kitchen people with fancy coffee and soda machine things.

I didn't want this to happen:

http://youtu.be/H2uHBhKTSe0

 I looked for a plain old kettle to make tea, but couldn't find one. People without kettles? Are we joking?! That's not possible...

...and we all know one does not make tea with a microwave, even when desperate.

Yes I could have boiled water in a pot, I am aware. Instead though, I rode my bike to get coffee.

The entire time I was pedaling away I was looking around like I was Angela Lansbury with a basket on my bike and a smirk on my carefree face ready to solve mysteries and saying to myself, "I am in California, this is California, wow I'm in California!"

Aaaaaannnndddd I'm a local! Much like Denver, bikes are very common. A main form of transportation for some. I love this! Who knew I'd love bikes so much?!

Coffee, blog, bike....what a wonderful world. One that I was leaving for three days almost immediately.

Hello Petaluma! Bye Petaluma! I'm off to pick up Jon, go to yosemite, and I'll be back! Stay here, I love you!

I'm not narcissistic...I swear! But obviously San Francisco knows me and loves me...

But not enough to let me park without driving around for twenty minutes. This time elapse is apparently a miracle because it can take upwards of 45 minutes to find parking in this place...

San Fran: strike one Denver: also one strike (no ocean remember?)

Hi San Fran! Awesome ice cream! Bye!

Yosemite= the most amazing thing I've ever seen. The pictures that follow can't describe the scope of awesome, actual awe inspiring sites that are there. The park is about 40x60 miles. Lets all thank John muir now.

So there I was with my hiking group:

Oh sorry, that was a different group of seven gay men with a sassy dark haired gal...

Here's my seven gay men complete with sassy herself:

We can't decide who dopey is...we're hashing out the details, but I totally call Snow White!

Hello Yosemite!

Also, hello Bambi (what a Disney trip)! Really, it wouldn't lift it's head so I called out Bambi! And she responded!

We hiked through to the arch (I have been seeing arches across the country...Kentucky, Utah, California) and had a snack while admiring one of the greatest rock climbing areas on the face of the EARTH!

The more things I check off my list of things to do, the more I see.  The more I see, the more things I want to do.  It's exhausting.  Added to the list, climb half dome:

We whistled while we worked our butts off up the hills.  I proved once again that East coast in shape is just shape...you're not IN anything.  You're mostly just OUT of breath.

And everywhere that Mary went (gay joke) or in this case, MarIES...North Dome was there to stare at.  We stared and stared AND STARED and it never stopped being the most amazing thing I've seen.

We all broke camp in the shadow of Half Dome.  We were on North Dome here, this is the home of all of the mosquitoes of California...I'm pretty sure.  I did some pretty awesome Mosquito dances here.  My interpretive dancing has become something spectacular since this camp out!

We hiked, as Nicholas says in his very explicit directions of where we go, "down, up, down and up again."  We went down to get water, up to basket dome, and then back the way we came.  Here is our view from Basket Dome.  Seriously it's the most amazing thing to experience!  AND if you look closely you can see what the natives called the weeping woman.  The legend escapes me now, but it involves her waiting for some lost lover or other. We all saw everything on the Half Dome from Michael Jackson to the number 8.  We conclude that we're all pretty insane.

The fire was necessary.  ONE: I'm a pyro TWO: mosquitoes.

And I spent my most romantic night in California with 7 strapping (gay) men watching the sun set in Yosemite and staying out until the chill ran us back into our tents.  We saw so many shooting stars, discussed why Fresno is a light polluter and huddled together contemplating the secret to life.  I think we may have found a piece of the secret...

The sad part...

I left the scorching hot desert with food on the brain thanks to what I suspect was a wonderful Mormon family. It's funny what you consider close when you started your journey in pa...but Salt Lake City was just a few hours away and I almost moved tgere when I was a wee one (a teenager). So SLC was where I decided I'd lay my noggin for the night.

Since I've explored SLC quite a bit, I knew the one place I wanted to stop:

This is the best Mexican food I've ever had...EVER. I was so hungry and desperate for civilization after almost getting lost and dying in the desert....I'll be honest, I was booking to get there. Then I searched their hours and found out I would arrive five minutes after they close...soni was REALLY booking then. But seriously, it's the desert, no one cares. AND you can see everything for miles. I hit 95mph easy. Hobbes was not pleased. Hobbes may be developing asthma as a result...

I totally was winning a very serious game of beat the GPS. Which is a very dangerous game that should never be played young'uns ;)

Then something came out of the desert that had no business being there...it's not what you think! 

It was an honest to god one horse town...

I was in shock! People live here! A horse lives here! My "piece 'o lead" came off the accelerator, my chin rested at 12 on the steering wheel and I pushed my sunglasses on top of the old thinker...

What in Gods name made these poor neglected humans stop here?! (I'm sure there was a river somewhere)

I hadn't seen a "town" in so long I didn't know what to do! I did know Taft the speed was probably not 90mph. I was going a snails pace at 50mph when I hit town...

I found out 5 minutes later, speed limit: 40. 

Bwoop Bwoop! (Damn you Schrufer, you jinxed me!)

Right as I got outta town, he got me. If you know my past, I have been known to get pulled over a time or two. I know the drill, but what I can't stop is my laughing. It surely doesn't help my case.

"Did you see me on Main Street ma'am?"

In my head: "there's a freaking Main Street?!"

Out loud: "tehehe, no sorry!"

"Whelp, speed limits 40mph, I clocked you going 55."

....(am I supposed to respond) awkward head nod and giggle...

...............losing beat the GPS.............

"Um, I wasn't sure the speed, guess I missed the sign."

"You coming from Moab?"

Reaching in glovebox full of tampons, looking for insurance and registration...

"Uh (pause with hand stuffed between tampons) yeah, how'd you know?"

"Well ya have the bike in the rack (starting to like this strapping young cop) and well..." (This means there is absolutely nothing between here and Moab)

"Oh right..." Gives dashing copper papers.

What seemed like precious red iguana Mexican food time slipping away...staring at the one horse on the outskirts of town I wait.

The handsome cop comes back and gives me the lesser fine, I sign the paper and he bids me farewell trying to be regretful of the ticket.

And this is where I always "carry the water melon" (this reference is from dirty dancing). I respond with "(giggle giggle) THANKS FOR THE SOUVENIR!"

Crap crap crap...roll up the window, shift into gear and get the hell outta dodge at an easy 40 something mph!

...............................................................

Well red iguana was not going to happen so I dropped down to 85mph. Just a slow cruise really. Then since my music was making my ears bleed from the repititions, I popped in one if the CDs John the janitor had graciously made for the trip. He has been my school music guru all year, sharing my passion for the Beatles. This cd was a collection of what he called "pastoral classical songs."

Well, this is the sad part...

I've got peaceful music playing, a $90 speeding ticket sitting next to me and a couple of hours left to SLC. I'm exhausted from hiking in the heat, it's like midnight eastern time with no one to talk to, and I'm dehydrated with no Mexican food in my belly...

Ya know what I do in times like this? I hug my mommy. She's not here. No one was there...

I finally hit the point that the brains of this operation (Angela) told me would eventually happen. I finally felt the aloneness that only classical music and a speeding ticket can induce. I cried.

I'm not a pretty crier. This mug looks like a wet hairless cat that has sunburn when I cry. I think I scared some neighboring cars. I made awful eye contact with a few drivers...they promptly changed lanes. All those hopeless feelings came back and I cried for at least an hour until I was almost to my shitty motel.

Of course I sent a message to my mamma and then texted Angela to let her know she was right. I bought some beer and put it next to the bed and fell asleep.

I wanted you to know the sad part and that all the sad things I carried on the east are still here with me because adventure is not all sunshine and rainbows (and of course unicorns) it's also the strength you have to strain through sadness to feel happy despite it. Yin and yang: you'll never appreciate the wonderful things until you set them next to the sadder ones to see the difference.

Also I was hungry. You're never happy when you're hungry.

..............................................................

So lets set some happy next to that:

I finally got some delicious mole at my favorite SLC restaurant! Then I drove around the Mormon temple (that I learned as a teen you should never compare to the Disney castle even though it looks just like it) and I waved at Moroni! He is the prophet on top of the temple who is made of gold. Legend has it that at the end of time he comes to life and sounds his horn and all the Mormons who have been good boys and girls get to go to heaven. No one else.

To remember his name, I used to call him macaroni Moroni. (C'mon like other people haven't thought of it!)

I gave my mamma an update of my whereabouts and the following text ensued:

Happy ending! Mamma knows how to set things right!

Life's for Livin'

Well it's been awhile. Currently I'm actually back on the road... But there wasn't time to write because I packed in so much LIVING!

So I drove from the edge of Colorado (grand junction) to Moab, utah. I headed to arches national park. Canyon lands is also nearby but I had to choose!

Do you know what inspired me to choose arches?!

http://youtu.be/4B36Lr0Unp4

I wanna DO THAT!

...............................................................

So I'm driving through this "high desert" and there isn't much out in Utah on this highway. There were exits that exited onto a dirt road cattle path. There were a lot of those. There were not many people at all. I started to get down past the halfway point of the gas tank And I began to wonder if people I this highway (if there are any) knew about gasoline powered vehicles...

Luckily it turns out they do, just barely. I was able to fill up at a "gas station" which consisted of not one, but two pumps! It also had what is known as a shed to pay! Thank goodness for technology!

Made it to arches, the most beautiful rock I've ever seen! It's like the red rock area in Arizona, but with amazing and multitudinous formations that make you go hmmmmmmm! Heaven!

Headed to what I like to call the license plate arch. It is located off a trailhead at Wolfe ranch.

Apparently mr. Wolfe suffered from a complaint in his leg (maybe from a war?) and the dry arrid vicious desert agreed with him and his leg. Boys....

So he and his son moved out here to this ranch in the middle of awesome rock and a beautiful stream that looks green from all of the deposits. Probably did look like an oasis when he came to it in his wagon. But driving to it from the visitors center, boy just looks crazy for staying here. And in fact, he did leave after I think around a decade staying there. He returned to the east and promptly died. Guess he was right about the desert after all... 

Hiked the trail. And if I thought hiking in Colorado was tough, I added in heat wind and extra dry air. I'll never leave the car without Chapstick again!

There is a lizard! They are super (still a little Colorado "super" in me!) cute and very skittish!

One more corner! And then there it is!

License plate arch (because its on all the utah plates)  is actually delicate arch. BUT a nice Salt Lake City man informed me that the name of this arch and another in the park were accidentally switched when the map maker came in, SO originally this was called landscape arch. Phew!

Look at these people looking at it from afar. If you know me at all you know I need to touch...

It was a hop skip and windy and I mean WINDY jump over and I'm here!

Gorgeous! A Minnesota lady (retired teacher...like her already) and I just sat and contemplated its demise. How would you like to be stared at, waiting for your end? The arch took it well...

Then this older Asian couple stomped up. This Asian lady was awesome, she made all of the "phews!" And "oooiii" and "hummmppphhhs" she could make about the hike. She did it in such a dramatic but happy way. It was cute. She said "how long was that hike?! It was exhausting!"

Minnesota and I informed her it was about 1.75 miles...

"Oh no...no no, six miles at LEAST!"

Little Asian ladies are so cute. Facts don't matter, what she thinks is what counts!

Checked out the peytroglyphs from the Utes on my way back. Pretty decent art compared to some of their ancestors. Of course they'd probably laugh that it is considered art to people now.

And then that little Asian lady inspired me to take the longer hike to angel arch. I didn't think I had enough time, but there were a few arches on the path, so off I went on the *gasp* 4 mile hike!!!

So I went, and on the way learned that the flakes above could someday become arches. The water gets in between the rocks and makes these flakes. Then wind and water beat them down into different shapes. Some become arches. Cool! Water is so powerful!

I'd love to tell you I made it to angel arch, but I didn't. I'd love to tell you I didn't get lost on the path, but I did. I started freaking out and thinking about those old movies where the actor wanders through the desert begging for water. Well at least I had water...

Honestly I wasn't that far off the path, but ever read or see Into The Wild? It could happen anywhere. Trick is to keep calm and not think about that you drove all the way out to utah by yourself and no one knows what path you even took. You DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!!!

So I was lost for about two minutes. Got back on the path and made it to double o arch:

I'm not dead! Yay! And shortly after I made it, I ran into the Salt Lake City man and we shared pictures and stories. He told me all about his six children and the WHOLE time I tried to use ESP to figure out if he was Mormon. I guess I thought it would be rude to just straight up ask...

I did get some awesome food recommendations and also was told there is good climbing up in SLC area. I have to research that for my next trip...

Peace out arches!

Even the desert scribes my name...

E for Ellis!!

So In Love I Stayed (again)

I wasn't supposed to stay Monday.  I intended to take my time, but not all my time on Monday.  BUT there were more rocks to climb. I hired a guide to take me out so I didn't have to boulder by myself again. That definitely freaked me out a bit.  So, I hired Colorado Climbing Company to take me on a whirlwind adventure!  Jeremiah was my guide and he was VERY PROFESSIONAL : ). He gave me a couple options to go with.  I had said I wanted to try something classic and indicative of the area.  Thusly:

We headed out to the Maiden.  The picture above shows it right in the middle.  It kind of looks like....ummmmm...well...a Maiden?

It is in the middle of the FLATIRONS outside of Boulder, Co and is an east coast exhausting hour hike to get to.  Again, Altitude...you jerk.  You embarrassed me in front of Jeremiah. I was really trying hard to look like a real live rock climber and I had to stop around 5 times to catch my breath just to get to the flipping rock!

This was the view from the base of the Maiden.  We're already pretty high up in the air.  What little air there was here...  So, I'm huffing and puffing and there are no houses to blow down.  We get all geared up and...

...where did my guide go?!  : ) He scaled this (I think 5 pitch) rock like, well, a rockstar.  Jeremiah was awesome! Thank goodness because when he picked me up from my hotel room, I had started to get nervous.  Right before he came, a guy with a pretty nice gregory pack was walking like he had springs in his butt around the lobby.  He had crazy eyes and dirty hippy hair and reminded me of the socially awkward computer nerd from high school that seemed overly excited just to see human beings.  I was hovering in the corner of the lobby closing my eyes and chanting "please no, please no, please no...don't look at me....no eye contact....that's not my guide." (which is very similar to what I do in bars sometimes as well) Then my knight in shining armor pulled up with real climbing experience and real funny jokes and amazing skill at driving in "traffic." SAVED! Knight in shining armor! (Sidenote: there is no such thing as traffic in Colorado.  These people have no idea what that even means)

So once my guide go himself up the first pitch it was my turn.  It was weird because I'm used to climbing with only a handful of people. This wasn't Ryan, or Ben, or Jim...this was some dude.  He's funny, he knows what he's doing...but this isn't one of my partners in crime. After 5 pitches he was...

Anyways, I was a little nervous to climb here because it was tall and I'm afraid of heights, and right at the beginning I felt like I forgot everything I knew about climbing. Oh well, ONWARD UPWARD!

One pitch left, and let me explain the pigtails.  Here it is: I hate helmets.

We were at the top of the Maiden...on the TIP if you will. It was a pretty fun climb.  Not incredibly difficult except the 5.10 section, which was a short pitch, but made for tall people. (yes I'm playing the short card again).

We're at the top, I'm barely breathing.  I'm not sure if it's because of the spectacular views, the height, the climb, the altitude...

I was resting on top of the world.  Jeremiah tried to take care of the business while we were resting.  He was working on top of the world.  It cracked me up, he was trying to describe some climbs to a lady and they wanted to firm up plans.  He told her: "I'm out of the office right now, can I call you back in a few hours?"

That woman probably thought he was screwing around and doing his laundry, maybe some errands.  He just climbed a MOUNTAIN!  He's WAY OUT of the office.  I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen, but I couldn't stop giggling about it.

But the adventure wasn't done:

That's me right there in the middle of nothing rappelling off the back of THE MAIDEN.  Yes it freaked me out, but it was also AMAZING! I was suspended in nothing but clouds and sweet zephyrs. Bottom to Top and down again.  It was nothing but the best of fun, and so worth the extra day I spent in Boulder.

(PS the sunburn! OH THE SUNBURN!)