I was exhausted after climbing Monday. Altitude (we discussed) and being Hobbes-lagged was definitely catching up to me. I was planning on just driving as far as I could without falling asleep and turning in for the night before hitting Moab, Utah. I couldn't wait for Arches National Park and hiking and all of that, but more than that, I couldn't wait for a pillow and a bed.
I don't know what my aversion to sleep is these days, but it never seems to settle in on my corner. Part of it might be my competitive nature. And trust me, I don't need another person there to be competitive. I fight myself more than anyone in this world! My best buddy, Angela can certainly attest to the nature of this game. She's the same way of course, though if she reads this she'll probably try to deny it. She also likes to lie to herself, same as me :) So, anyways, I'm competing with myself the same way I do when I run (yuck running is awful). Guilt (I get that from my lovely Irish Catholic family :) and the "C'mon don't be a punk" methodology works incredibly well. Basically when I'm driving I constantly think about the pioneers and Laura Ingalls Wilder books (if they can do it with wagons and horses, don't complain about driving a car with GPS!) and in my head (because talking to yourself out loud is a mark of the insane) I challenge my stamina and my right to be on the road if I can't even drive through one more tank of gas if they can expand the west travelling up hill, both ways, in the snow BAREFOOT!
Made it across Colorado and stopped at Grand Junction. Fun Fact for the day: Grand Junction is the largest city in Western Colorado. Population is around 59,000. Reading, PA (where I started this journey) has a population of 88,000. We're also ranked 5th in the state. I love the West. They're so cute and small and they know it. All they have to do is look around and there is a mountain reminding them. I think that's why the ego's are smaller here as well. Us Easterners look around and just see us. A big huge sea of ourselves. That's why New Yorkers are so irritatingly egocentric. I've seen a lot of the nature in our area, our "mountains," our rivers, all of those little natural and wonderful intricacies. They're wonderful, but they do NOT make you feel small like these Rockies do.
Cheap motel (I actually like cheap motels better than those fancy hotels that take your car away from you and promise Santa Clause, but never fulfill the promise.) and the PLAN was to pop over to the Applebees because it was close and I was exhausted. I'll go grab a beer and a sandwich and go to bed. I just needed sleep...
...Seriously, why do I lie to myself.
I recently told someone that I can't be sure if I've ever just had one beer my whole life. The people at Trooper Thorns can probably attest to this as well.
No worries Mamma, I did not get rip roaring drunk. I did one better. I hung out with 5-6 very interesting people and we giggled and swapped stories about the road. It was way better than getting drunk! I stayed there until about midnight. Oh sleep, I missed you, but I'll spend time with you later. As I've said before, you can sleep when you're dead!
My favorite part of travelling is meeting people. They're the greatest bit of history in the world. They're like little walking anthologies of Earth. Picking up bits and pieces of this spinning mass in the Universe as they roll along their paths.
Chatted with the two ladies tending bar. And my theory of how I get bartenders to tell me their life stories is still a mystery. It's not a weird version of hitting on me or vice versus obviously. But I did get to see a picture of her lovely baby, "her world." I learned about her haircut, her ex, her current beau. I even helped her count her tips at one point. I don't know how I do it, but it gets done almost every bar I've stopped in. She wasn't the only one I hung out with either. There was a South African who looked like he could be a base player for a band like Rage Against the Machine, there was a trucker from Austin, Texas. A young kid originally from Minnesota, who moved to Denver, then to Grand Junction and is planning to head back to Denver.
My people! They were all wonderful and ALL TRAVELLERS. Even the bartender had been hopping around Colorado here and there. My South African friend, who says his home is in Los Angeles even though he was born elsewhere, was actually driving his motorcycle across the country in the other direction. Amazing, we met in the middle! We chatted about the music we were listening to, which showed me exactly how little you know of someone just by looking at them. This guy had some solid gauges going on in his ears and a magnificent mohawk (a real one) and without being mean he looked like what Sloth from Goonies would have looked like if his face wasn't rearranged...
...guess what music he was listening to...
...Pavarotti.
Wasn't my first pick either. He did, of course, mention a little bit of everything. But there is only one other person below the age of 70 that I know of personally that has openly admitted to listening to this amazing man and that is myself. It's probably because I don't get into Pavarotti discussions often, but its just not a musician that people throw out there when asked what kind of music they like.
That's what is so great about bars. Everyone is friendly and loosened up and ready to talk. And I love talking.
The Trucker and I bonded over our hatred of FFK (Flat Freakin' Kansas) and their cops. He told me that everyone I know that said not to go to Texas was an idiot, that Austin is just as amazing as Denver and that I should visit the state at the least.
At one point everyone took out their phones, including the old man and his son behind us and showed each other the latest buck they'd killed. The Trucker showed me a wild pig that was the size of Hobbes they took down and said it was trash, it was too big to eat. (I think the Ethiopians might think differently, but tomato, tamato)
For two hours I thought I was at Thanksgiving dinner surrounded by my travelling family. It was great! Everyone and I mean EVERYONE asked me how my hot wings were and whether I might switch to whiskey instead of beer. It's like my Grandmom was there, except this tea was of the alcoholic variety.
And that was just Grand Junction. Every where I stop, there's a new family to break bread (or beer) with! In Colorado, I met the most interesting man in the world. He works for NASA and pops in to cities here and there and everywhere. He's actually in LA soon and we still keep in contact. He was the reason I didn't get sleep in Denver. You just can't say no when you are properly asked to dance to a band playing the Blues! We danced away the night and then I was serenaded by an ex mariachi band member on the way back to my hotel (Sorry mom, I talked to a homeless guy and I probably shouldn't have done it, but I was trying to prove him wrong on something). He kept calling me MIHIJA MIHIJA! He'd say "I love you! but you are too young and beautiful for me!" (A master at reverse psychology!) Now just read it out loud again in a Mexican accent and then sing a Mariachi song afterward. That's how I ended my night. The magic of The Stranger is an amazing thing. I think I'm falling in love with the world!
Those are just a few of the people I've met, and whether I know their names or not, I'll never forget them. And I look forward to meeting more people, because as they say, the more the merrier! I've already met 6 wonderful San Fran men on top of a mountain in Yosemite, a Californian who is actually an Irishman and "herself" as he calls his woman friend. I can't wait to meet so many more while I'm here in California, and on the way home.
Sleep is so overrated, and people are amazing.
Loving the spirit of the travelers!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
So In Love I Stayed (again)
I wasn't supposed to stay Monday. I intended to take my time, but not all my time on Monday. BUT there were more rocks to climb. I hired a guide to take me out so I didn't have to boulder by myself again. That definitely freaked me out a bit. So, I hired Colorado Climbing Company to take me on a whirlwind adventure! Jeremiah was my guide and he was VERY PROFESSIONAL : ). He gave me a couple options to go with. I had said I wanted to try something classic and indicative of the area. Thusly:
We headed out to the Maiden. The picture above shows it right in the middle. It kind of looks like....ummmmm...well...a Maiden?
This was the view from the base of the Maiden. We're already pretty high up in the air. What little air there was here... So, I'm huffing and puffing and there are no houses to blow down. We get all geared up and...
...where did my guide go?! : ) He scaled this (I think 5 pitch) rock like, well, a rockstar. Jeremiah was awesome! Thank goodness because when he picked me up from my hotel room, I had started to get nervous. Right before he came, a guy with a pretty nice gregory pack was walking like he had springs in his butt around the lobby. He had crazy eyes and dirty hippy hair and reminded me of the socially awkward computer nerd from high school that seemed overly excited just to see human beings. I was hovering in the corner of the lobby closing my eyes and chanting "please no, please no, please no...don't look at me....no eye contact....that's not my guide." (which is very similar to what I do in bars sometimes as well) Then my knight in shining armor pulled up with real climbing experience and real funny jokes and amazing skill at driving in "traffic." SAVED! Knight in shining armor! (Sidenote: there is no such thing as traffic in Colorado. These people have no idea what that even means)
So once my guide go himself up the first pitch it was my turn. It was weird because I'm used to climbing with only a handful of people. This wasn't Ryan, or Ben, or Jim...this was some dude. He's funny, he knows what he's doing...but this isn't one of my partners in crime. After 5 pitches he was...
Anyways, I was a little nervous to climb here because it was tall and I'm afraid of heights, and right at the beginning I felt like I forgot everything I knew about climbing. Oh well, ONWARD UPWARD!
One pitch left, and let me explain the pigtails. Here it is: I hate helmets.
We were at the top of the Maiden...on the TIP if you will. It was a pretty fun climb. Not incredibly difficult except the 5.10 section, which was a short pitch, but made for tall people. (yes I'm playing the short card again).
We're at the top, I'm barely breathing. I'm not sure if it's because of the spectacular views, the height, the climb, the altitude...
I was resting on top of the world. Jeremiah tried to take care of the business while we were resting. He was working on top of the world. It cracked me up, he was trying to describe some climbs to a lady and they wanted to firm up plans. He told her: "I'm out of the office right now, can I call you back in a few hours?"
That woman probably thought he was screwing around and doing his laundry, maybe some errands. He just climbed a MOUNTAIN! He's WAY OUT of the office. I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen, but I couldn't stop giggling about it.
But the adventure wasn't done:
That's me right there in the middle of nothing rappelling off the back of THE MAIDEN. Yes it freaked me out, but it was also AMAZING! I was suspended in nothing but clouds and sweet zephyrs. Bottom to Top and down again. It was nothing but the best of fun, and so worth the extra day I spent in Boulder.
(PS the sunburn! OH THE SUNBURN!)
Altitude, what a buzz kill...or is it?
So beer is kind of a big deal for me. It's been in my life for quite some time now. We're in a complicated relationship, but whenever we hang out it usually ends in fun and games and giggling. What more could you want from a friend? Colorado happens to be beers favorite state as well. TONS of microbreweries. TONS. I have to go back simply to partake in more of this aspect of Colorado.
So I knew ahead of time about beer in Colorado. I also knew about awesome hiking in Colorado. I ALSO knew about the altitude in Colorado. I NEVER PUT IT ALL TOGETHER! And I'm a math teacher for goodness sake! ADD WOMAN ADD!
BEER
(YUMMMM)
+ HIKING/CLIMBING
(WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
+HAULING MY CRAP
(UGH)
IN HIGH ALTITUDE=
(**GASP GASP**)
A 2 BEER QUEER!
(No offenses intended...it simply rhymes well!)
I thought I was in shape when I went out on this trip. I really felt top form. Turns out, I was in good EAST COAST shape. Nice low altitude with tons of oxygen. But, in reality the West Coast/Western states kick our East coast butts any day of the week on top of a mountain or at Mile High Stadium. I didn't think it would make that big of a difference, but it beats you down and humbles you and makes you look like a jerk in front of everyone. But the bonus is: it's much cheaper to get drunk. I found this out when I went to a microbrewery in Boulder, CO. I was literally halfway through my second beer and went to the bathroom all woozy and giggly. I thought something was wrong with me! This Irish girl doesn't mess around when it comes to drinking. There's NO WAY this is happening to me!
Someone even told me (a guy with pretty solid stature and body mass), the first time he came up to the area, he went to a bar up in the mountains and had a beer and a shot and was black out drunk the rest of the night. Ok, Ok, this makes me feel WAY better. I'm not the only one who can't handle their alcohol at altitude. Of course, he also said, when he'd go back home to his low altitude state, he could out drink everyone no problem because his body was used to altitude drinking. Ahem, anyone want to test this when I get back?
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Colorado!
I left you with the sun going down and bein tortured further across Kansas. Just to prove that I had entered new territory, as soon as I crossed state lines a coyote ran right in front of my car! Bam! You're not in Kansas anymore! Anything can happen here!
Oh coyote, what a bit of foreshadowing you brought!
Did I mention my favorite thing about driving across the country? Time travel. Obviously! I stared at my phone for almost an hour straight so I could watch the time go back from 11 to 10. I was disappointed, but given something better! I traveled forward to the next day and then BACK AGAIN!!! What?! My students are right! I am magic! (My wrinkle in time did not render any winning lotto numbers sadly)
I drove into Denver so glad to see civilization! I will admit, that while it was dark, I did notice that eastern Colorado is pretty flat, but still more interesting than Kansas.
I was shocked by how big Denver was, and then found out that thy are cheaters and there are a bunch of towns squished together. All of them amazing. Denver is especially amazing because they have my husband, Peyton manning. I did ask Siri where he was. Turns out that piece of technology is a piece of crap...
However, Magnolia Hotel is NOT a piece of crap. As soon as I got there, the valet took my bike down and stored it for me. I will admit, I held back a few punches and screams and other east coast inspired habits. Then they took my car. Then I almost cried. My life, my Hobbes, my world! I figured that my parents wouldn't bail me out all the way out in Colorado, so I did nothing but perhaps sulk a little bit. My hand might have reached out for the little red rio as it drive away without me. (Thinking about castaway? "Wiiilllllssssoooooonnnnn!"....yeah me too)
Perhaps they could tell I was distraught. The weight of my car keys gone, naked but for one measley bag containing clothes (important?! Not nearly as important as my climbing equipment that mutinied along with Hobbes!)
They offered me milk and cookies. In fact they give you milk and cookies as a bedtime snack around 9:00 every evening! I asked the obvious question as they patted my back and pushe the elevator button for me, practically tucking me into bed (that story in a second!)
"Is Santa comin to the lobby after the milk and cookies?!"
The doorman laughed. "He played along, yeah he'll be down and you can sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas."
This kid doesn't know about my history with Santa...he doesn't know I will be sneaking down in The middle of the night to check...
So I go to my room all snug and cozy and milk and cookied! It's beautiful at this hotel, I was exhausted and ready to curl up. I get all tucked in to those blankets that are typical of a plush hotel. The ones that all at once give you the weightlessness of a cloud and press against you in a tight hug. Aaaahhhhh about to go to sleep. My door opens, the light goes on, I'm about to be attacked! My battle cry: "uh...hellllloooo?!"
The battle cry strikes fear into the heart of the cleaning guy and he gives his thousand apologies to me and my honorable family and scurries away! Muahahahaha!
Were they really going to try to tuck me in after my milk and cookies? I think to myself. Then a phone call, the desk clerk apologizes and apologizes and I'm about to give him the "no worries dude!" When he says something that stops me in my tracks...
"I'll be taking 50 dollars off of your charges while here Ms. Ellis."
Shoot I have to act stern and upset now, but also like this guy has assuaged my anxiety. I want to giggle instead, because I'm mature like that.
That guy almost saw me starkies!
Good night Denver! What a welcome!
................................................................
Next morning starts and I'm out the door. I want to find a place to boulder, so obviously I head to a bookstore to read up. I'm walking downtown for about ten minutes and immediately text about ten people that I'm never leaving. Denver is awesome. It's the biggest metropolis in Colorado and its the cleanest air I've breathed in in 3 days and 7 states. I don't see a single car until about 6 bikes have passed me. It's the quietest city I've ever experienced. I felt like I had to whisper when I talked! In the first hour, I don't see a single person who doesn't have a tattoo, bike, or dog. I'm home!!!
He was originally from Minnesota...and he's not the only Minnesotan ice run into either. Those people just won't stay put! And no one is originally from Denver. Most people I talked to have transplanted here anywhere from four months ago to six years ago. I heard no one day they had lived here any longer than that. Love these people! LOVE THIS PLACE!
People here have a sense of humor. Just look at this sign in the local climb shop...
This sign should be a caution for cars instead of bikes. Cars are more rare.
People like this are not rare. He sang Beatles songs in the tourist strip. I don't know if he's homeless or not because everyone kind of dresses that way...
Mopeds are cool here. Seriously, they are. I didn't think it was possible either. And this combination of various lifestyle choices is very very normal here...
And hello the view is amazing everywhere you look!
Again why don't I live here?
Anyways, I went bouldering in Boulder. It makes me giggle when I say it. We all know my sense of humor, everything is worthy of a chuckle...
And bouldering was so convenient and the view was amazing and I was scared to death because I was alone and no one was there to tell me I was stupid! I had to tell myself! Therefore I only did some warmups and traverses. I wasn't worrie though because I hired a guide to take me out Monday, even though I wasn't really planning on staying all day Monday, but the rocks call and I obey!
Next up....altitude....
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
On driving (don't read this mom)
After experiencing civilization maybe twice in the last four days, your driving habits and abilities tend to change.
I forgot I was driving a manual transmission at least three times in the last three days. I almost gave myself a heart attack when I finally reached mountains. I thought my car was breaking down trying to get through the first mountain pass in Colorado. I had my foot all the way down to the floor at one point and it just kept decelerating! I was thinking "great, what could it be? Is my battery dying? Is the dang thing overheating?! I'm in the middle of nowhere!!! I'm not a mechanic!! What is going on HOBBES!!??!?!?" I'm about to put on my blinkers and pull over when I hear my salvation!
A huge semi passes me (I'm going THAT slow on a steep grade) and shifts gears...
.....oh yeeeaaaahhhhh this is stick shift! Hobbes! Why didn't you remind me?!
Shifted into fourth and blew that Popsicle stand!
I also have really gone down to the basics of driving. Remember "Mater?" Like "taaaa-mater, minus the teeee!" He had rear view meeeers. Lightning McQueen did NOT.
I'm here to say, turns out ya don't need 'em.
Other things I don't use:
In Kansas: my hands or knee.
In states with curves: just my hands, knees required.
Everywhere: turn signals (unless I'm bored)
Shifter (except in the mountains)
Sometimes I don't even use lanes! You see I drive like my dad. I'm usually looking over my left shoulder at the scenery and every once in awhile I check my progress with driving. Sometimes I find I've drifted into the other lane or I'm straddling the two. Sumthin different! Hey! Hang out in that lane for a bit, let myself drift back over...
Mom, I told you not to read this...
Anyways, rumble strips are awesome!
Mom, I'm just kidding...reeeeaaaallllyyyy.
Ugh Kansas.
Driving through Kansas is probably what you want to make someone do if you absolutely hate them. Not dislike them, because that's just mean. Only if you can't stand the sight of them and wish to torture them slowly before putting them out of their misery. Put them in a car and force them to drive across this super boring state in one day at the speed limit. I almost forgot how to drive halfway through because I forgot I was driving...
I did metion before that their was a pretty righteous storm which broke up the boring a little bit, THANK YOU! What I didn't say was I saw this vehicle on the beginnings of my travel through this less than awesome state:
COOOOOOOOLLLL, they actually DO exist! I was replaying the movie TWISTER in my mind and replaying it, and replaying it...because that's all there was to do. Then I got a message from a friend saying "watch out for Tornados!" Which I thought was amusing, but after driving for hours on end, your mind gets warped and twisted and 5 hours later a rain storm is coming at you and you're thinking, "Oh my God, was that twister guy in the van on duty?" Was he coming for THIS storm?!"
And the storm shows up in the dusky hours, so the sky is changing colors and all of a sudden your mind is stuck on the part of the movie Twister where the storm chasers head gets sliced by a car rim! AAAaaaaaaahhhhhhh! And I look around and think to myself, all I know is not to stay in the car if there is a tornado, but there is no where else to hide in FREAKING KANSAS!!!!!
So then these windmill things show up and now I'm all "GREAT, I'm not going to get sliced by a car rim (well I guess it still could happen) I'll just get decimated by a huge propeller!"
Kansas broke me down...way down. A true mind screwing.
And then before I went postal, I saw my name. I saw it everywhere! And it was the most amazing thing in the world:
DUDE! I own that water tower...
...and the police (oh the trouble to be had!)
I just wanted to shake people's hands and say "Alright guys, I know you've been waiting a really long time for me, but I'm here now. Everything is going to be ok. I'm sorry they put my fan club in KS of all places!"
So, I had some mild amusement through Kansas. Kansas didn't like that, so it made the sun go down. So now it was flat and straight and I couldnt even look at boring things anymore. COLORADO SAVE ME!
And it did. TO BE CONTINUED!!!!
Just in case you forgot how boring I think Kansas is:
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Meet me in St. Louis!
Bye bye Kentucky! I still try to imagine people who actually live in Kentucky. It's a weird not quite coastal state that is kind of southern, but kind of Midwestern. There are gorgeous plantation looking houses, and obviously horse farms, but still it's a little off somehow. More plain West Virginia po-dunk country than southern. It's hard to explain...
Po-dunk...really po-dunk...(and hello? It's Johnny...gosh!)
On my way to St. Louis I actually pulled over because my trip-o-meter was about to hit...1000!!!!! I pulled over and slowly let the meter roll...HAPPY....awwwwwww...it doesn't go up to 1000. You aren't supposed to take trips past 999.9 apparently. Well Hobbes....you're in for it. I have a feeling we're going to hit the 0 mark a few times this month. Just keep trucking! (ALSO I got my first truck beep on this leg of the trip because I was car dancing. This is becoming a sort of tradition around sun down, I don't know why but I get in a dancing mood right around then every drive)
So originally I was going to hit up Kansas City, MO (which is the same as Kansas City, KS except it's on the East side of the city. Talk about confusing, but probably a good model for sharing for all those kindergartners out there.
Anyways...Audible on the play! St. Louis is so much closer, and one of the first post cards I ever got from when my Daddy travelled all of the time was of the St. Louis arch. I always wanted to go see it in person. Guess I'm not going to Kansas City...
On a side note, I have a postcard collection from when I was little. Originally, when my dad would travel, he'd bring little trinkets here and there. I remember I once got a little stuffed puppy dog (which I still own, totally normal). I named him Puff, because at the time I was obsessed with Puff the Magic Dragon. It had absolutely nothing to do with Pot smoking!
Anyways, I imagine having six kids really lightened the wallet when the trips became more prevalent. Post cards are CHEAP! Also, I like them better. Especially when you get the ones with historical descriptions and interesting facts. And those pictures! Makes you just want to jump into them Mary Poppins style! And I guess that was what I was planning on doing when I changed my route to St. Louis.
So, I popped into the hotel and saw this:
Thank GOD I wasn't on that floor...I didn't think they made 13 floors anymore. Every hotel I've ever been in skips the 13 and goes straight for 14. This place obviously does not cater to the superstitious. I had a guy in the elevator with me who was staying on the 13 floor. I wished him luck. I wouldn't want to stay there...probably ghosts.
Went down to the bar for a nightcap before I went to bed. Most of my drinking stories start this way..."I was just going to have one beer, but then..."
And that's exactly what happened. but then...I found myself in Budweiser-ville, which my Daddy reminded me of before I went down. Dang, I hate Bud Light, I really do. And even though I was in the city of Bud, I did not drink that crap. Luckily they did have Budweiser alternatives and I settled for an IPA instead. Sat next to a young guy, already in his cups and swaying. I know...it was an excellent seat choice. This particular gentleman was from new yawk. Actually, I don't want to offend anyone, he was from long eyeland.
Oh wait, let me start this story out properly: So I go to this bar and there is an Indian, a kid from Long Island, and a fat guy from Denver who is married to an Asian chick. (It's not quite a Jew, a Catholic, and a Protestant, but it's a good start). And the bartender who had serious girl trouble. (I don't know what it is about bartenders that they spill their life story to me)
Anyways, this is what I learned: New Yorkers are annoying. They think they are the greatest thing in the world and everything in New York is the best. The best pizza, the best drinks, the best girls, the best guys...blah blah blah. Those people on the other side of the world who think Americans are obnoxious were probably talking to a New Yorker. (Let me clarify, these New Yorkers are the ones who lived there their entire lives. I know a couple really nice people who moved there and appreciate the world outside as well as New York, which is, in fact, fabulous) This guy was looking at me out of his soberish eyeball trying to tell me about football and I know he was trying to ruffle my feathers talking about the Eagles, he tried to tell me that he felt bad for Andy Reid. I bit my lip and chugged a beer. And that is why I never have just one beer.
Next was the fat guy who was married to a hot Asian chick. I know this because we started talking whiskey and he scooted down after obnoxious Long Island left. First words out of his mouth: "I'm married." I said congratulations. What the hell? Did I look like I was hitting on you? If anything I'd be hitting on whiskey right now, not the fat guy at the bar who is quite a bit my senior. Thanks. Anyways, he was a winner. I don't know what it is about older fellas at the bar that feel like they should be honest with me, but they need to stop! hahaha. This guy was trying to put a good message out there, but seriously failed. I've never seen a hole dug so deep and quickly in my life. He started by saying I clearly had a great personality. (alright, you better say something to go with that, I know what they say about girls with good personailities) So, I told him to keep going...
Then he said I was pretty average in looks. Wow, thanks. Ok so, I'm not a super hottie or anything so I waited for the clincher...and damn. He said that US average looking people are the best because hot people don't want competition and also, people don't want to stick around unless you have a good personality as well. Hot people are for one night stands, us average folks are for relationships. (skkkkkkkrrrrrrrr.....WHAT?! back the heck up...US? You are putting me in the same category as an overweight balding 40-50 year old man age group? That's rude.) What's more is, that average boy married a HOT ASIAN. He is proof that his theories are all wrong. This guy is even worse than the guy that complimented me for having tree trunk legs! So what I'm hearing from the bar scene from across the country is that I'm a fun person with a good personality and I'm very average. (this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but geez people)
He saw I was a little affronted and asked, "well, do you think you're hot?" I said no, I'm awesome. He said "But, I mean, do you think you're going to get better with age?" I said, YES, I'm going to be even more awesome! He said "But, ya know looks wise, you're kind of passed your prime." DUDE! DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEE!
Thankfully this adorable little 21 year old kept coming in between us ordering the fruitiest little cocktails proclaiming his gayness verbally and physically every time he came up. And my gay friend at the bar loved my nose ring and thought I was pretty. Take that fat guy from Denver.
Next morning: The Arch. Who needs a car in this city? I don't because I brought my bike, although since driving for hours and hours, it was more like fly paper than a bike. But I cruised around going all Asian, and taking pictures.
The bartender from the night before recommended this place. I took a picture of their menu because I do highly recommend it if you are ever in St. Louis and want that all natural fresh farm ingredient type food. They are a crepery, but also serve other dishes...and amazing mimosas:
AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD they're my favorite color.
To the ARCH! It's funny watching people take pictures of this thing. It's a huge problem solving task to figure out how to get the scope and magnitutde down, especially when you try to put yourself in the picture.
Went underground into the museum:
Learned something new:
I hope you giggled....because I all out cackled and shouted "You CAN'T be serious?!"
COMING UP: More about FREAKING KANSAS.
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