Thursday, March 6, 2014

The hotel of curiosity

So we settled into our hotel at Lake Placid and I was quite pleased, but it really doesn't take much after being folded and packed into the backseat of a pickup. They handed me a key, which on its own is amazing. What hotel still uses keys? I guess the kind that don't "get a lot of our kind 'round these parts." BUT best of all it was on a carabiner. Its that natural. In the same way I always know where my car keys are, and how that comforts me because it's locked on, this carabiner said "welcome home."

(So much so, I had to take a picture)

Then we started investigating our rooms. I've moved around quite a bit in my short life and from experience and habit, I tell you this is one of the greatest joys! Going into prospective shelters and picking out "your room." Trying to beat your little sister to the best room in the house. Opening up every door to see what magical worlds might exist on the other side. And DRAWERS! Open the drawers! Who knows what you might find! A severed hand! A diamond ring! Dust bunnies! It could be anything! I'm still not sure why we were doing this. There were four children above us in line for the throne and there were definitely never 7 separate rooms for all of us. Obviously the little ankle biter was going to be in MY room, and I wasn't going to have a choice in where we were setting up shop.

BUT this is a vacation. One where I paid, therefore I get my own room! WOOOOOHOOOOOO! Finally! So much room for activities! It's like a surprise behind that door. It could be the magical door in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Mr. Tumnus could be in there! And with a key on a carabiner, anything is possible!

At first look, you think to yourself, "Ah, what a quaint little mountain town, this Lake Placid is. Just the essentials."

And then you realized you paid over 100 dollars for this one night...

in the downtown RESORT of a former Olympics town...and the remote doesn't work.




...and you may or may not be missing furniture...


...or at least a picture or mirror...




However curious it seemed at first, it was not initially noticed by me. After my experiences sleeping in my car, at truck stops, or in a hammock out in the woods all summer, this seemed pretty posh. Until Debbie Downer (I mean my dad) walked in and started giggling. "What is this place?!"


"I dunno, there's enough room for my snowboard to sit. That's good."


Interior designer Dad came to scope out my room and was just in absolute awe. "Take a picture of the end tables!" he said. "Do you believe this! They don't match! None of it does! It's like this hotel went to a yard sale at a beach town and picked up what they could!"


It truly was all scrapped together. I hadn't noticed...


I did notice that the intention for this room was to get extensive reading done in our one or two night stay, but not the usual Bible, or on rare occasion, the Book of Latter Day Saints. "No no, we foresake religion for...Stephen King!"

I bet they have a 13th floor in this hotel too...


Of course, beyond the unique yard sale room of curiosity, where thankfully there was no mirror, I was cold to my bones. Adjusting the temperature is such a treat in a hotel, because its not your electric bill buddy! Heat it up until it's a sauna!

....BUT wait...
Two heaters? No wait, I think that one is broken...

...and wait, this one...


How do you turn it on?
Which way is hot?
What temperature is it at right now?
Is it working?

This here is the real curiosity...the Russian Roulette of keeping yourself warm. You may be freezing yourself out after dinner, or you may be cooking yourself like a turkey...who knows if it's even on. Good luck and Godspeed!

Time for a drink!

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Spaving

In my rush I forgot to explain SPAVING. This is a word that my dad has created to describe my mothers shopping habits. She SPends tons of money on good deals in order to sAVE money. Somehow, however, the bill remains over my dad's allotted shopping expenditure goal....which is to say $0. SPAVING ladies and gentleman.