Wednesday, February 10, 2016

No Means NO!

AWL and I have been doing AWLs new years resolution (it is not my idea, I don't do resolutions, I do travel). We try to abide by all cliche's this time of year. Therefore we've been hitting the gym. I try to stick to the rock gym, where you aren't really exercising, you're having fun and climbing and goofing around. He prefers to go to what i like to call, the BORING gym. You know the one, dumb bells, weird torturous looking machines, oversize men with tiny little legs, and always ALWAYS that one guy who has this weird routine that no one has ever seen before, but looks remarkably like a circus routine rather than a lifting routine. I will admit, when I'm forced to go to the boring gym, this guy is my saving grace. I love watching him and trying to figure out what his life is like and what he is thinking about as we all openly stare at him.

Honestly, though, I am working more on the other cliche' resolution: Not eating like a southern born hippo who lives in a menagerie that serves fried everything. It's SO DIFFICULT! But I've been doing good. Eating salad, drinking lots of water, NOT drinking alcohol (Waaaaaaaaah)! The worst is not eating chocolate every second of the day. THE WORST!

Of course, then, in true February fashion, we decided to ditch the resolutions and instead of hitting the gym, we hit the Chinese buffet! Yippee skippy! I promised myself that NOT EVERYTHING would go out the window with this one. I had eaten my freaking salad at lunch and NOT eaten any chocolate. So, I went and tried to keep it pretty clean. I ate sushi and I had snap peas and shrimp (all smothered in the most delicious grease that can only be generated at a Chinese restaurant). Ok, I wasn't going to say it, but I also had some yummy potstickers and an egg roll. Fine it wasn't great, but it was the thought that counted. AND I DIDN'T EAT THE ICE CREAM. I wanted to, oh my God I wanted to. But I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

This of course meant that AWL had to have ice cream right in front of my face. Two bowls. Right in grabbing distance. It was unfair, it was SO UNFAIR!!!!!

......But it also reminded me of this one time on our way to Yellowstone National Park when we were driving across the country. It was so beautiful. We were about to hit these mountain passes that just zigged and zagged endlessly upwards forever through the Rockies. Just amazing!

Before we did all that, we had to feed the beast that is AWL. He is constantly hungry, like the bears we so instinctively feared on our way through these western states. Pull off the side of the road, it's ICE CREAM TIME! We stopped at the last place before leaving town in Red Lodge, MT. Boxcar Cafe' is the cutest little train car right by the Rock Creek. We loved getting out of the car to stretch our legs and then sit by the Creek. It was a pretty serious creek too. It rushed and bubbled and bobbed. The best way to eat ice cream!

In any event, AWL always orders the same thing... everywhere we go. If we are ordering a salad, he always gets Russian dressing, even though he claims he doesn't really like it. If there is a baked potato on the menu, AWL is eating it, and if we're getting ice cream he's getting vanilla soft serve with "Jimmies" on it. These are what normal, unaffected people call sprinkles....

I get so excited when I see a yummy pretzel cone, so I got my standard mint chocolate chip on a pretzel cone and got started with it while AWL watched his soft serve get sprinkled with "Jimmies."

There are two types of persuasions at ice cream parlors: the roll and the sprinkle. Great ice cream places just dunk that cone in the sprinkles (allergies and all) and swirl the cone all around in it. It's the best. And then there are places like this one where they spoon the sprinkles and gently shake them over your ice cream, being ever so conscious of not mixing peoples delightful rainbows and ice cream. Needless to say, AWL was not satisfied with the sprinkle job, just not enough of those ever exciting "Jimmies."

To be honest, there's always something he would do to make an order better in his eyes. He's like Meg Ryan in that movie "When Harry Met Sally." He's totally the Sally:

So, of course when the girl, identified later by AWL as the "goth girl," handed him his treat he asked if he could have more Jimmies.

She looked at him, almost looking through him like he was a ghost or something, and firmly said "NO." So matter of fact, that the one or two "Jimmies" on AWLs ice cream started to drip off the cone unnoticed by him. He was so caught off guard by her response, he was speechless. And if you know anything about the man, the myth, the legend....AWL you would know the guy doesn't ever have a loss for words.

He walked back to me, with his head slightly twisted in the expression a puppy has listening to a new high pitched noise and related the story to me. "She just said No. I didn't know what to say. She's like the Jimmie Nazi. I didn't know there was Jimmie shortage."

I couldn't help but laugh. "what did you do to her? Why would she say no?"

I wonder if it was such a deep sarcasm that it was like that puppy with his head tilted, too high of a pitch for us to hear. Who says no to "Jimmies?"

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