Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Ugh Kansas.

Driving through Kansas is probably what you want to make someone do if you absolutely hate them.  Not dislike them, because that's just mean.  Only if you can't stand the sight of them and wish to torture them slowly before putting them out of their misery.  Put them in a car and force them to drive across this super boring state in one day at the speed limit. I almost forgot how to drive halfway through because I forgot I was driving...
I did metion before that their was a pretty righteous storm which broke up the boring a little bit, THANK YOU! What I didn't say was I saw this vehicle on the beginnings of my travel through this less than awesome state:
COOOOOOOOLLLL, they actually DO exist!  I was replaying the movie TWISTER in my mind and replaying it, and replaying it...because that's all there was to do. Then I got a message from a friend saying "watch out for Tornados!" Which I thought was amusing, but after driving for hours on end, your mind gets warped and twisted and 5 hours later a rain storm is coming at you and you're thinking, "Oh my God, was that twister guy in the van on duty?" Was he coming for THIS storm?!"
And the storm shows up in the dusky hours, so the sky is changing colors and all of a sudden your mind is stuck on the part of the movie Twister where the storm chasers head gets sliced by a car rim!  AAAaaaaaaahhhhhhh!  And I look around and think to myself, all I know is not to stay in the car if there is a tornado, but there is no where else to hide in FREAKING KANSAS!!!!!

So then these windmill things show up and now I'm all "GREAT, I'm not going to get sliced by a car rim (well I guess it still could happen) I'll just get decimated by a huge propeller!"

Kansas broke me down...way down. A true mind screwing.

And then before I went postal, I saw my name.  I saw it everywhere! And it was the most amazing thing in the world:

It was like when you were little and you didn't like the way the world operated and instead you said, "yeah, well in MY WORLD..."

DUDE! I own that water tower...

...and the police (oh the trouble to be had!)

Don't mess with me I have a whole squadron to take you down!

I just wanted to shake people's hands and say "Alright guys, I know you've been waiting a really long time for me, but I'm here now.  Everything is going to be ok.  I'm sorry they put my fan club in KS of all places!"

So, I had some mild amusement through Kansas.  Kansas didn't like that, so it made the sun go down.  So now it was flat and straight and I couldnt even look at boring things anymore.  COLORADO SAVE ME!

And it did. TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

Just in case you forgot how boring I think Kansas is:

1 comment:

  1. Kansas was one of the most boring states I have ever EVER driven through. Lucky for me I slept in the back seat for most of it while Reggie and Crazy drove 0:-)